On Parenting and Producing
The parallel of parenting little children and producing video shoots.
As I sat down to write this blog, I had to laugh. When comparing parenting to producing, the immediate thoughts that come to mind were the most obvious and outrageous ones. A toddler poo-ing his pants and dumping milk into my purse as I’m trying to get everyone out the door and off to school; how that reminds me of handling a difficult client “tantrum” during a complicated video shoot, or navigating one unforeseen disaster after the next during an edit job. (I promise I won’t use this blog as a therapy session to air my grievances!) However, as I have continued to think on this topic, I find myself deeply honored and moved by the responsibility of not only being a mother to 3 little boys, but also being the “mother” on set with my family of production crew and clients. Allow me to share some thoughts, if you would.
Parenting informs how I run shoots, and running shoots informs how I parent.
If you are a millennial parent like myself, you are no doubt familiar with the ‘gentle parenting’ movement. I personally find that the way I manage my kids is with a combination of ‘gentle parenting (let’s take time to work through your feelings)’ – and – “get your **** together and let’s get the job done!”
My husband often reminds me, “talk to the kids like you run your shoots,” and I understand what he means by this. Stay firm, stay focused on the task at hand, and don’t compromise your energy for their every whim. My kids thrive on structure and consistency.
Isn’t this also true of the adults I work with on projects? Creatives and professionals want to do meaningful work and to feel safe and supported through the production process. With parenting and producing, I have learned the importance of setting clear expectations ahead of time, giving reminders of goals along the way, and staying present and honest if things fall off the rails. What does this look like in practice? It means establishing a well-defined production timeline with milestones, having regular check-ins with team members, and taking ownership rather than shifting blame when things get off track.
But what if things go wrong…?
I set the tone and energy for the rest of the group.
I could be the most prepared person in the entire world – I could spend weeks coordinating vendors, making schedules, running planning meetings, and anticipating all possible scenarios – but the reality is – things go wrong. Call it ‘Murphy’s Law’, or simply the reality of putting lots of humans in one place together. Personalities can clash, people get tired and cranky, or freak accidents happen. What I have found though, is that my attitude and energy is oftentimes more important than my preparedness.
When things go wrong, I feel my heartrate rise and pulse quicken – that old familiar anxious pit in my stomach begins to roll – yet I’m aware of the fact that (whether I’m at home with my kids, or on set with a 20-person crew) people are looking to me, gauging my reaction, sensing my mood, and waiting for my lead on what to do next. As a sensitive, introverted type, I never expected to be in a career path where I am setting the tone for a group of people’s mood and actions. However, I find no greater joy than to look back at my day, and recognize that when a chaotic moment happened, I was able to imbue calm and confidence in the people around me. I was able to give them assurance that “I’ve got it under control. It’s going to be ok. Let’s have some fun together.”
If I could encourage other producers or team leads with a piece of advice, it would be this: When faced with a challenging situation on a project, think “People First, Work Second”. I have found that, while the work is important, yes – people remember how you made them feel, and how you made the production process feel. If you can walk away at the end of the day knowing that you helped people have fun together, feel safe and supported, and feel creatively stimulated, you’ve done your job.
Addi is a Producer with FoxFuel Creative who heads up the video production team. She's a big fan of animation, fantasy films, daydreaming, and making cool stuff with cool people.
