Fell Into The Keyhole

What the hell does vulnerability have to do with a job?

For me right now, it’s everything. More and more, I am putting ideas out there before they’re polished, letting people see the messy, half-formed, probably-wrong parts. Sometimes it hypes me up. Sometimes it hurts. Either way, I feel it.

It’s about putting myself back in that uncomfortable place, the one without guardrails, where I’m not sure I belong. It makes me, and sometimes others, uncomfortable. Which is just crazy to me. People love to label me as one thing. And, I hate that. 

I started my career over 20 years ago. Early on, I was obsessed with design. That identity carried me for a long time. I moved into art direction and then into leading teams, but I was still looking at the world through a tiny keyhole. I could see my part clearly, but almost nothing beyond it. Looking back, that wasn’t focus or discipline. I was just scared and perhaps a little dumb.

I didn’t step back to see how others viewed the work. I didn’t write. I didn’t challenge. I didn’t share the messy parts of my thinking. I stayed in my lane.

Fast forward to now, and I deliberately take on things I don’t feel qualified for. My current day-to-day is directing video shoots, writing copy, and giving opinions in spaces I haven’t formally studied. My younger self would probably say, “Who the hell do you think you are?” And maybe he’s right, but he can shut it for now.

We love job titles because they feel safe.

“He’s good at design. She’s good at strategy. Stay in your lane.” Bigger agencies love that model. But that’s not how it works anymore. Staying in your lane can shrink the person inside it. Agencies need to stop building the same sandcastle over and over. Move it off the coast. Maybe put in a moat.

School and degrees are often misunderstood. People equate them with knowing how to do something. At their best, they only show that you faced a challenge and cleared it. You’ve demonstrated a capacity to do great work. That doesn’t mean your education is done. That doesn’t mean you’re just a designer or just an analyst. You’ve only proven a small part of what you’re capable of.

And that’s where vulnerability comes in.

Growth usually means stepping away from the keyhole entirely and realizing the room is bigger, messier, and harder to navigate than you thought.

I put my thinking, taste, and judgment out in the open. Some feedback sharpens me. Some hurts me. Some lingers longer than it should. I still can’t get over some client decisions or work I created over ten years ago. People who have worked with me know this. I can’t shut the hell up about it. I question what I know, what I assumed, and how much of my confidence came from comfort.

My instinct is to retreat. Crawl back to the keyhole, to the place where I know exactly what I’m allowed to see.

But the goal isn’t protecting my ego. It’s looking back at work I made a few years ago and cringing. “Wow, that’s rough. I can’t believe I shipped that. I’d take another swing at it today.” That feeling, uncomfortable and slightly shameful, is clarity and growth.

But you know what really sucks? There’s no finish line. Just a loop of trying, failing, learning, and sometimes landing something that actually connects. Every so often, someone says, “You just put into words what I couldn’t say myself.” Those moments can make me happy for months.

Vulnerability isn’t comfortable at all.

It definitely isn’t clean. And, when you’re vulnerable, nothing is safe.

My hope is that more vulnerability will move me away from making wallpaper or boring social media content and toward making more work that matters.

Michael is the Creative Director and co-founder of FoxFuel Creative. He loves British music, vintage German cars, and American history, and his sarcasm knows no bounds. #DreamBig